


Time

by bluemermaiid



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, during the finale, lucy centered, spoilers for 1x20, superlane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 08:11:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6649573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaiid/pseuds/bluemermaiid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Kara going away to save the world and most likely commit the ultimate sacrifice, Lucy just wished they had time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys! So, this is *very* out of my comfort zone - and as tagged, it's a drabble (therefore it was written super quickly and it's probably not the best thing you've read, so, don't judge pls) - but ever since I saw that Superlane hug gifset and how emotional about it Lucy seemed to be I had to get my feels off my system.  
> Despite this being a little shitty and short I hope you enjoy it, I hope I was able to convey these feels. Please tell me what you thought!   
> PS.: In this story the Kara/James kiss didn't happen, and their storyline is different. I think it will make sense when you read it (:   
> Thank you for reading!

She frowned upon reading the name plastered on her cellphone screen and hesitated. Ever since their break up - or maybe uncoupling was the more appropriate word - James' calls had been casual, civil and polite, never too short and never too long, and usually about something extra normal, some "super issue" that concerned her as well. There were moments when she didn't want to pick up his calls, when she wished she had developed a closer relationship with Winn or anyone else who could inform her without involving her in an emotional turmoil, but at the same time she knew the message it would send him if she didn't reply, she knew he'd probably think she was uncomfortable or upset about him and Kara - and that was the last thing she wanted him to think. Lucy _really_ didn't want James to think she had _any_ problems about him being in love with Kara, nor about Kara probably reciprocating those feelings. She didn't want him to know the real reason why she had to step away from their relationship, why she felt so jealous of all the time he spent with supergirl, why seeing that puppy eyed girl talk so highly about him made her heart sink. _It was all too complicated_ , she had decided. Lucy just wanted Kara and James to be happy, and had been in a war, she knew well enough to stand down and not go in where she wasn't wanted or needed. She knew well enough when it wasn’t her time.

"Hey, James, what's up?", she tried to sound calm despite the thousand worries that rushed through her mind and the throbbing headache that had already started to make itself noticed.

"Hey, Lucy. Sorry to be so direct but is Kara there?", his tone was a concerned one, she raised an eyebrow.

"No", she paused, "But I believe she's on her way. Why? Something's wrong?".

"It may be nothing, _but_ ", he swallowed dry and made up his mind, "No, I think it was _definitively_ something. She was acting strange back here at the office, talking to me like she was saying goodbye. And then Winn said she came up to him with this same talk. I mean, even Cat asked me if something was wrong with her. Is there some new threat going on that I don't know about?".

She pursed her lips and rubbed her forehead. God how she hated to be put in this position - and how it seemed to happen so damn often.

"As far as I know things are still the same. We haven't caught Non or Indigo, maybe Kara is just worried about that", Lucy tried to keep her voice as flat as she could.

"Yeah, maybe", James blankly nodded, "Well, you keep an eye on her?".

"I will, don't worry".

She hung up the phone and sighed, a slow wave of terror creeping over her. Kara dealt with awful threats almost everyday, and Lucy knew Non and Indigo were the most terrifying ones so far, but if she was already saying her goodbyes even before they had mapped out a combat strategy it meant she knew it was a suicide mission, no matter how they planned their attack. Lucy Lane leaned against one of the cold DEO walls and clutched onto the stone, trying to push through the ache on her head and chest to make sense out of the whole situation: if there was even a slight chance she would lose Kara on this war, she was damn sure gonna help her win it.

* * *

 

Kara had said her goodbyes to all the people who mattered the most in her life. That is, except to Alex (a goodbye she knew she could never say and then just walk away, she just couldn't) and to Lucy. She didn't know exactly why she hadn't taken the time to thank Lucy for being so understanding, so supportive, for having her back at the DEO, for all the late night talks and the coffee shared. Maybe it was the fact that Lucy was working with her on the mission, she knew the danger just as well, she'd be accompanying all her steps on the monitors and satellites and radios, she'd know whether Kara won or, well, died. Despite her rationalizations and divagations Kara had actually thought about what to tell Lucy, but every time she tried to put the words together her stomach seemed to drop, her chest seemed to get heavier, and she lost all sense of what she was trying to convey. In fact, she didn't know what she wanted to convey. It all felt pretty pointless, she figured, to try to convey something she didn't even understand herself before she was probably gonna tragically die - and worse, Lucy would most likely be watching it all. So she decided it was best to not say anything, if she didn't make it she wouldn't cause her any unnecessary trouble, and if she made it she lived another day to figure out what it was about Lucy Lane that made her heart flutter.

So she said all the goodbyes she could, made peace with her probable fate and strutted her way out of the DEO still feeling Lucy's heavy gaze weighting on her back when J'onn walked into the main room. General Lane announced that he was a prisoner, therefore Kara would be going in alone. She swallowed dry, knowing her already small chances were virtually inexistent without his support, but before she could open her mouth to protest a loud and firm voice echoed across the room.

"Release him", Lucy exclaimed, "Now".

As she stood at the DEO main room, watching Lucy order her own father to release J'onn so she could have backup for this battle, she felt all her doubts and worries about the small Major dissipate and she just hoped she could come back home, she just hoped she had time.

* * *

 

"Are you okay?", the voice suddenly snapped her back from her thoughts. From the image of the red cape walking away, from the feeling of her sore throat clogged with the words she shouldn't say, she couldn't say.

"What?", she looked back. It was Maxwell Lord.

"I've gotta admit, you have some guts to order your old man in front of the whole DEO", he raised an eyebrow, "And I thought Lois was the gutsy one".

"I guess you thought wrong", Lucy huffed impatiently.

She could still hear him clicking his tongue and laughing to himself when she turned back on her heels and stared at him, wondering if she should ask it or not. Would he tell her the truth, anyway? Did she _want_ to know the truth?

"What are Supergirl's odds against Non and Indigo?", she decided being blunt was the best approach with someone like Max.

"Slim", he replied, "But that was already expected, wasn't it?".

"Slim to _none_?", she cornered him against a table.

"I thought your main concern was the safety of the planet Earth".

"And it _is_ ", Lucy almost hissed, "But Supergirl is a DEO agent and my _friend_. I want to know what her odds are and you're gonna tell me".

"Chances are she'll save our planet and die doing so. I honestly doubt she'll make it", Max watched Lucy's eyes turn a shade darker.

"That's what I thought", she muttered before descending the stairs.

" _Friend,_ hm?", he raised an eyebrow.

She considered replying but then concluded it was useless. It didn't matter what Maxwell Lord thought about it, or what anyone else thought about it, for that matter. Kara wasn't coming back. Lucy had forever lost the chance to tell her how she felt.

* * *

 

Her brain was slowly imploding and by then she was already slipping back in and out of delusions. She tried to follow Kara's movements on the monitors, from time to time she'd ask Vasquez what was going on, but it all seemed to merge with images that her mind created, blurring down with past memories and fabricated ones. Lucy leaned down on the table and rubbed her forehead, the pulsating pain reminding her once more of the moment when Kara had walked away to her inevitable death, silently slipping through her fingers. She had ordered her father to free J'onn J'onzz because she knew Kara couldn't make it out on her own, she gripped onto the belief that with backup maybe Supergirl would save the Earth and come back home safe - she'd never forgive herself if she didn't at least allow her to have support during that battle. And so she had watched Kara walk away, along with many of her wishes and hopes and the thoughts she hadn't dare admit to herself until that moment when all she saw was the red cape strutting out of the building. She wanted Kara, probably since the moment she had laid eyes on that sweet, clumsy woman who ended up being the same hero she once feared and soon grew to respect and admire.

Her green eyes flickered back to the screen, but she couldn't make out what it indicated. Alex and Max Lord were sitting on the floor, twisted in pain, holding hands, hoping that maybe it would end soon. But Lucy didn't want it to end, she didn't want to know how it would be when the pain ended and Kara was dead and National City was mourning Supergirl and her friends were mourning Kara while she silently mourned her as something she never had, as something that could have happened, a maybe. _Maybe in another life_ , she wiped a stray tear reminding herself that she was human, and this life was all she had.

 _Three minutes_ , the clock indicated. Three minutes and her mind would stop working, every thought she ever had, every dream, every memory would be wiped out, gone. She almost preferred it this way, because it meant Kara would survive, but she also knew that if all humans died and Kara survived the woman wouldn't be able to live with herself, having lost a planet twice in a lifetime. Lucy decided to make peace with everything: she knew Kara would find a way to save the Earth, she knew that was her choice and she knew that the pain of losing another planet was worse than dying to save it. She had let Kara walk away, now she had to let her go. She hugged her father, who sat beside her and whispered to him a faint _I love you,_ just in case, before closing her eyes and waiting.

* * *

Lucy wasn't sure for how long she had drifted away, but she was woken up by an engine like sound and a flash of light. Alex was inside Supergirl's Kryptonian spaceship, her eyes dead focused. With a flicker of a switch she lifted flight, quickly disappearing and leaving a stunned Lucy paralyzed yet hopeful. Kara's hero was coming to her rescue.

It was a while before everyone came back to their senses, and by the time Lucy's father woke up Alex had already brought Kara home, weak, but safe and sound. She had to control herself to not go into the healing room and take a peak, and Alex, noticing her anxious state, assured her Kara was alright and would go out as soon as she woke up and understood what had happened. Alex had rubbed her shoulder a little too thoughtfully and smiled a little too warmly, and Lucy wondered if she knew.

She waited walking in circles and smiling over to the staff. Kara was alive. _Maybe_ , she thought to herself.

Her bright green eyes animatedly turned up to face Alex and Kara, walking towards the DEO staff. The two war heroes, the Danvers sisters, who had just saved the Earth - and each other.

Lucy stood expectant, presuming Kara would first reach out to J'onn, but to her surprise Kara immediately walked over to where she stood and it was as if she had forgotten how to breathe for a second. She stood on the tip of her toes and reached in for the warm embrace, closing her eyes and thanking a God she wasn't sure she believed in for this wonderful creature being back in her arms. She clutched onto her cape, bringing her closer and she heard Kara sigh on her ear. Her legs weakened and her toes trembled, and she could hear a soft chuckle before gravity seemed to escape her body.

Kara smiled, taking in all the sensations the hug allowed her: the soft scent of honey coming from her hair, the pounding of Lucy's heart beating against her chest, her shallow breath coming in hitches, Lucy's fingertips digging on her back as if to make sure she was there, the peach soft cheek rubbing against hers. She wanted this, _so much_ , and everyday of her life. She had been saved, she was alive and now she has _time,_ she has Lucy in her arms, she has Lucy holding her by the waist and staring deep into her with those beautiful green eyes, making her feel all light and fuzzy.

"Lucy, can we talk later? I really need to talk to you", she smiled, trying to not make it sound like something too serious.

"Yes, sure", Lucy smiled back, "I really need to talk to you _too"._

 _"Oh, really?",_ Kara giggled.

"Really", she laughed at her excitement.

 _If only we were someplace else, Kara Danvers. We wouldn't be talking right now._ Lucy nodded her head as if to get rid of those thoughts. She needn't hurry now. The world hadn't ended. They had _time._

"Go be Supergirl. I can take up your time later", she squeezed Kara's hand and watched the red cape move onto another embrace.


End file.
